Oh my goodness!  I have had the hardest time posting lately (obviously), let alone checking blogs!  I feel like I got a rush of new and exciting info today checking everyone's posts from the last few months!

First things first, I am a new Aunt!  Kynan and Kaci were born early last week and they are so sweet.  I was a bit upset with my sister Melissa at first for not scheduling this delivery like she has the last 2 (just selfishness...I wanted to be there!), but I got lucky in the end and was able to see the babies on their first day of life when they were transferred here to Little Rock.  I got word that they were on their way and I got dressed and went to meet my brother in law Heath at the hospital.  I am so thankful to have been able to be there and let them know that they are so loved everywhere they go.  When I saw them initially, I was overcome with emotion.  I've been truly invested in Melissa and her family for several years and it was amazing to me how these 2 new people have already added so much joy to their lives.  For any of you who don't know, Melissa and Heath are great parents.  They love their kids and are more involved in their lives than most people I've seen and I feel like they were made for each other and for their kids.  They're great teammates.  Congratulations!

It's definitely Autumn!  I love this time of year.  I love the changing leaves and the warm days and cold nights.  Last Friday night was the first time this season that I've been able to smell Winter in the air...you know that smell that's unmistakable and makes you feel like you should be all bundled up (or makes you scared that it's just going to get colder?  And you remember that time that it was literally freezing each morning for over 3 weeks and when you walked your dog at 6:30am you felt like you were gonna die?)?  That's the smell.  Are there too many question marks at the end of that run-on sentence??

Every now and then when I open a book to re-read I'll find a flower petal or a leaf that I inserted at one point in time, and you know what?  I can almost always remember the occasion.  I love saving things like this.  I remember finding some of my mother's old memories in her books years and years ago and I always wondered what the story was.  It seems like Autumn is the season I tend to gather so many memories, I guess because the colors on the leaves always take my breath.

Now that I've finally found some time to sit down and write, I can hardly remember what's been going on these past several weeks.  All I can remember is how thankful I am to have a wonderful family, to have great friendships and relationships with the people I love.  My day to day actions are so blurred when I look at the big picture (which, actually, I have a hard time seeing most of the time).  To clarity...

So...I ended up taking the position of Jr. Partner that was offered to me. I've been doing this for a few weeks now and I enjoy it so far. It is so much more intellectually stimulating than what I was doing and I think that's been the biggest surprise. I'm learning so much and it feels good to have my brain be exhausted at the end of the day. I even went on my first day trip! I got on a plane this past Tuesday, landed, took an all-day meeting, got back on a plane, got home, made dinner (this is not a typing error, I did make dinner), and hung out with my sweetie and the girls. I have to admit I felt great to get so many things done in one day and not even freak out about my time schedule.
Aside from that, not much is different with me. I did see a man rollerblading shirtless today. That made me laugh pretty hard because I haven't seen that in a really long time.
Until the next time...

On the 4th of July I ran my first 5K since the last race I ran as a college athlete. I was surprisingly not too nervous and actually met all the goals I set for myself. I guess the best adjective to describe my feelings about it would be 'satisfied'. There were over 2000 runners and I got a cheesy trophy for being one of the top 100 finishers so that made me happy. I honestly can't believe that I ran the race in the total time I wanted to and that my splits were exactly as I had planned. It was exciting to be in that racing environment again and I remembered why I love competing so much. Little did I know that the last half mile of the course was uphill! I felt like my legs were going to fall off but I kept on passing people so that kept me going.
All in all, I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning and an even harder time walking down the stairs. I am so sore!! I can't say weather or not I'll do another one anytime soon, but I do have a renewed faith in my body and the satisfaction of doing just what I wanted to.
I didn't tell too many people that I was going to race again (sorry Dad) because I really wanted to do this for me. It's been so long and I didn't want to talk about it and get my hopes up and not deliver. It turns out that keeping it mostly to myself ended up being a great thing...I didn't have anyone to prove anything to but myself, and I used to always worry about disappointing someone back in my college running days. There was so much pressure and expectation on me that it resulted in a lack of motivation on my part and I'm just now beginning to realize that. It's not the easiest thing for me to be self-motivated and it's something I struggle with every single day. Sometimes I can't envision what the next 30 minutes holds and that really frustrates me. I know that in order to get where I need and want to be in life I need to work on my motivation and follow-through so I'm definitely open to any tips anyone has! It's been one of the hardest things to attempt to overcome and I'm nowhere near overcoming myself. Maybe I'll never be able to feel like I truly can. But I know I can try and it's times like last weekend that help me realize that there is a payoff to powering through the struggle.

I Fixed It Myself!!

After visiting my cousin Cheryl's blog I was reminded of a HUGE accomplishment I just have to share:
I fixed my lawnmower myself!
It's true, I mow the lawn. Last summer my sweet boyfriend hired someone to do it and once I found out I told him that I was just going to buy a mower and do it myself. I love to mow, I love seeing the change and feeling great about meeting a goal. He told me no, he'd already committed to having the guy do it and he was counting on our contract. So this year I decided to do it myself. I brought the mower from HS to LR (the HS house has a garden crew) and began the chore! As the days went on, it got hotter and hotter. I wondered to myself if I was going to have to call Gregg the yard guy to take over when it's just too much for me. Then I had an epiphany: if I can run with a heat index of 110 degrees, I can mow the yard. So last Monday I put on my gloves (my hands sweat a lot when I'm mowing) and got to work!
Somehow, since the Monday before, a large piece of metal had been placed in the yard in an area I've mowed several times. I don't know how that happened, it's a mystery to me. I ran over it and the mower stopped and the sound scared me like crazy! I'm always afraid of hitting something and it shooting out and smashing my leg bones. So I flipped the mower over and compared the piece of metal to see if it could have come from the machine. It did not and I was sure of it. So I flipped it back over and it wouldn't start! I was pretty sure I had flooded it so I left it for about an hour and went back out and when it started it just puttered along and blew tons of white smoke out of the smoke-discharge place. I don't know what it's called.
What did I do? I got upset! I just knew it was broken and I'd have to buy a new one. So I started to take it apart. If you know anything about me, you know I do not mess with machines when they go wrong. I do not attempt to fix things because I am incapable of doing so. I'm not sure what got into me but I took it apart and saw that the filter (which I didn't even know lawnmowers had) was drenched in gas and oil and the oil reservoir was totally empty. I filled up the oil, washed out the filter, tried to remember where all the pieces went and put it back together. IT WORKS! I totally fixed it all by myself (I did get some advice but all the actual work was done by me) and I felt so excited when I started it up and it sounded just like it's supposed to.
I'm well aware that this may not be a big deal for most of you, but it is for me! I feel so good about it and am even looking forward to mowing with my fixed-by-me mower! Side note: my yard looks very nice and simple to the average eye, but when you're behind a push mower you realize that there are tons of hills and it is an amazing workout! I actually do not work out on days that I mow because it's that strenuous. If I was a mower by trade, I'd never have to exercise. If this whole finance career doesn't work out for me I know what I'll do next!

Decisions

I had a meeting at my Corporate office this morning. It was scheduled at about 4:30pm yesterday so I knew it was important. Around here, we have a lot of meetings but not too many last minute ones. I'm just thinking out loud here, I feel I need to write this stuff down to try and work through it in my head and maybe get some thoughts/suggestions.
I've been offered a position to be a Jr. Partner in our investment division. Since I started here I've been passionate about investments and am always ready to learn more. I've been preparing to take my Securities exams (7 and 24) and even though I haven't nailed down what I want to do with those licenses, I've felt very good about obtaining them. I'm so confused!! I love the office I'm in right now, I love the girls that work for me and I love the environment of being around the sales agents. I believe in what we do. I believe in our market and that we're an ethical organization. I will have the opportunity to make more money, and I am very motivated by additional cash (who isn't?). I feel a little sick inside. Sickly because I'd be starting from scratch, because I'd be leaving all of what I know behind, because the office I'm in right now will have a very rocky transition when I leave. I'll still be in the company, but will give all of my responsibilities to someone else and to tell the truth I'm not excited about training another person to do what I do, it is so vast!! And let's not forget that my daily commute would go from 9 minutes to 25 minutes. I'm not too concerned with the mornings, but I don't like getting home that long after 5pm, and traffic here in the Capitol City on Cantrell is HORRIBLE at that time of day.
I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm a little lost, I can't find my favorite green pen, my brain is about to be challenged in a way it's never been...I have to take the position. I'm just afraid. I want to GROW! I want to be successful and even more powerful in this organization than I am right now. Why, then, is this such an internal conflict?? Help!!!

I Love My Nieces

Look at these little cherubic children! Two down, two (maybe more) to go!! I just wanted to post this picture (thanks, Melissa!) and say that I am a very proud Aunt and am looking forward to more additions!

Many things have happened...
First off, Jimmy is feeling better as each day passes and I've noticed a significant improvement from a few weeks ago. I'm very thankful he's alright.
Next, I'm pretty serious about working out and a few weeks ago I was running at a place here in LR called Two Rivers. It's a great place to run because there are so many different trails and it's also a wildlife sanctuary so you never know what you're going to see. A large portion of the area is dedicated to garden plots, areas of land that are sectioned off and people in town who don't have room for a garden get to have their own space. It's really neat because there's always a lot of older people tending to their plants and I love seeing the passion they have for growing things. Anyway, getting on with my story. I did a pretty hard workout and was feeling great and did my cool down and then started to drive home. That's when it happened.
Picture this: young lady, late 20's (more on that later), minding her own business listening to some Wilco and waiting in the turning lane. All she wants is to grab some sushi and get home to relax and play with her puppies. Three great puppies, Rex, Murphy and Gringo. Puppies who love unconditionally and hide her socks. Suddenly and without warning, she is rattled by something hitting her car from behind. She hits her brakes as hard as she can to avoid slamming into the car in front of her. She's then hit again, perhaps harder than the first time. Despite having her foot basically nailed to the brake pedal, she's being pushed into the blue Nissan SUV (amazing what you'll remember in a traumatic situation) ahead of her. By some sort of grace, she doesn't hit it and it keeps on going, taking its rightful turn onto Taylor Loop. Yes, the specific loop she should have been taking at that very moment. Finally, the car stops rocking back and forth and she begins to gather her thoughts. Pain. She's hit her head on the back of her seat. Twice. She says a quiet thank you for her safety, knowing that wearing her seat belt surely kept her from hitting the front of her head/face and causing further damage. Sticky. One of the first things her mind goes to is the stickiness that's surrounding her. She knew she shouldn't be drinking Coke, especially after a workout!! Empty calories!! Why did she even bring the coke, she asks herself, when she had chilled water in the fridge? She knows that it won't quench her thirst or hydrate her in any way. Still, there is Coke everywhere. Not even diet--it was regular Coke! She pulls herself together long enough to put the car in park and push the button for her hazard lights to start blinking. She locates her phone, also sticky by this time, and calls 911. She can hardly speak, let along tell the operator where she is. She manages to, however, and then the driver who hit her approaches her window. She rolls it down, dripping sweat and stickiness. The man says his name is Travis and he's really sorry but he was looking at his phone and didn't realize what was going on until it was too late. Twice!! She tells him she's called 911 and she gets a pen and paper from her bag (the Fendi she bought in Italy two years prior-partially covered in Coke. Can you dry clean a Fendi? Where do you take it?) to jot down his information. The police arrive, the vehicles are moved, one of the officer's insist she be looked at by MEMS, they transport her via ambulance to the hospital (while strapping her down to the gurney they ask how old she is, she says '28' and almost gags. It's the first time she's said it out loud!) where she sits in the ER for 4.5 hours. At last she's sent home with a serious cervical strain (whiplash) and some pain meds and muscle relaxers.
Yes, alright!!! The 'she' and 'her' is me. It was scary, but far from the worst accident I've been in and while I'm still tense in areas of my neck and back, I am fine. It helped me realize a few things: don't pay attention to my phone while I'm driving; just because I buy Coke for Jimmy doesn't mean I have to drink it myself; the headliner on a car is very difficult to clean; always (ALWAYS) carry germX or some kind of liquid cleanser for those unplanned sticky situations.
So the damage to the vehicle was surprisingly slight considering how hard it got hit. I still don't know how he hit me two times. It really doesn't matter, either, it's just strange.
So there's always a happy ending, right? I mean, shouldn't there be? The happy ending is that I have no broken bones and I am for some reason being watched over and protected. I believe everything can be turned into a positive lesson if you just look on the bright side.
I hope everyone is doing well, and I'd like to say a special hello to the Christmas List, and tell it that even though it's been the subject of some intense and sometimes heated conversations lately, no one hates it. We'll learn to embrace the Christmas List and come to terms with the fact that our family has the good fortune of being big enough to warrant a List. Who knows...maybe the List will bring us all closer together.